What are the Holiday Blues? Want to know to fight off the Holiday Blues?
The holidays are upon us. We’ve just finished Thanksgiving and are charging forward toward Christmas and New Years Eve. The holidays can be a difficult time. It’s a time that is advertised as being filled with so much joy and happiness, but it doesn’t always feel this way. Infact, there is such a thing as the holiday blues.
Loneliness, financial problems, changes in life, and loss of a loved one are all reasons that people feel the holiday blues. Let’s look at these reasons and give some helpful hints to fighting off holiday blues.
First there is Loneliness :
It’s not uncommon to feel lonely over the holidays. Going through the holidays without a significant other can feel very lonely. Being separated from your family during this time can be tough. Maybe you’re out on your own, and don’t have a special someone to share your holiday with. You might have moved away for family, or could be stationed oversees in the military. Whatever the reason you feel alone, let’s find some remedies that can help.
Helpful Hints:
#1 Don’t isolate. Get out of the house. Find some activities to do. There are more activities to attend over the holiday than at any other time, google it, look at the local paper, find a festival, a play, tree lighting or church service to attend.
#2 Book a tour to see the city you live in. Why let the tourists see all the great things of your home? Go have fun in your own town. You may even find a new special spot or activity that brings you joy.
#3 Volunteer to feed the homeless, work at a toy drive, do something for others. Often when you focus on helping other people, it brings you joy. You may even meet new friends along the way.
#4 Volunteer at an animal shelter. Loving on animals can be very therapeutic and uplifting. Animal shelters are always looking for volunteers to walk the dogs or give pets needed attention.
#5 Join a group of people with similar interests : hiking, book club, bible study group, a sports team, or whatever aligns with your interest. This will give keep you active, connect you with other people and keep you from isolating.
#6 Contact someone that my be feeling like you do over the holidays. Think about other family members that may be alone during this time. Do you know of any co- workers or long lost friends that may appreciate a call from you? Take the plunge, this may be a hard first step to something that is very rewarding.
Next there is Loss:
If you’ve lost a loved one, you may not want to feel joy or happiness without them this holiday season. You may even feel angry when you see other people happy because you are feeling sadness. You might even feel guilty when a happy thought slips into your mind, like you shouldn’t feel good without your lost one.
It’s ok. What you’re feeling are YOUR FEELINGS. It’s ok to feel sad at times. It’s good to remember those you have lost. Do something that reminds you of a good time with your lost loved one. Make a tradition honoring them. For example, you can make your grandma’s special snickerdoodle cookies and bring them to a holiday gathering to share, in remembrance of her.
If you’re feeling guilty for feeling joy, it’s ok too. This is a normal experience. Notice that you feel the guilt, then let it go. Don’t let yourself be trapped by what you SHOULD be feeling or doing, but rather be true to yourself and your feelings. It’s a good thing to allow yourself to feel joy or experience new things. New things do not rid your life of the old. You can hold onto memories of those you love while making new memories.
There are also Financial Problems:
Spending money over the holidays is like Santa in his sleigh; they go together. It can create tons of stress to not have the finances to buy presents, bring food to the holiday party, or even afford extra needed heat bill. Remember you are not alone in this. Suggest giving notes or used books to family members instead of gifts. Orchestrate an item trade, where neighbors and friends can swap good condition used items to re-gift. Find fun free activities to do with your family like making holiday crafts, watching a holiday movie at home together, or attending a free tree lighting service or parade.
Last there are changes in life:
Changes in life can make holiday’s harder. A marriage that is having difficulties, a family that is finding their new normal after a divorce or even empty nesters having college kids come home for the holidays are all changes in life that can lead to holiday blues. A helpful hint to conquer the blues through the life changes is to not give up on happiness, do something to create a new normal and be creative about it. Create new traditions. This can be really fun. You can make anything a new tradition. If it’s difficult for you to attend the usual holiday traditions, take yourself out of them. Changing your environment or activity can give you a new perspective. Examples of new traditions are:
#1 Drive around looking at holiday lights
#2 Plan a special outing
#3 Eat out at a new restaurant
#4 Try a new kind of food or activity
#5 Surprise a neighbor with a meal
#6 Include new family members in the usual holiday traditions
#7 Allow college son to plan holiday event with the family
#8 Find a way to celebrate your favorite holiday tradition to fit the new situation in your life.
What has worked for you to keep the holiday blues away? I’d love to hear other suggestions from those of you that have won the fight in conquering the holiday blues. What works for you? What have you tried that didn’t work? What do you plan on doing differently this year?
Getting through holiday blues is about accepting yourself, your feelings and needs while having gratitude for the little joys and moments of happiness in your life.