Husbands, Do you know that there are specific ways you can help you wife feel appreciated?
When you wake up each morning and choose to be married to your wife, you are choosing to love her. There are many different ways to communicate to your wife that you love and appreciate her.
It’s very easy to get busy with your work, your commitments, your household duties, your children and find yourself not having the time or energy to love on your wife. Don’t let anything get in the way of loving on your wife.
Here are ways to show your wife you appreciate her.
Really listen to her. Put down your phone, turn the tv off, if you get a text while she is talking, don’t answer it. Find out what is going on in her life. Don’t try to fix it, just listen to it.
Don’t flirt with other women. Don’t even put yourself in situations where you are tempted to do this. Go flirt with your wife.
Empty the Dishwasher. Clean the Counter. Do the laundry. These chores aren’t fun and I bet your wife dislikes them just as much as you. If you surprise her and do these things, you are helping her, and this could feel very loving to her.
Give her some praise. Tell her what you appreciate in her. Encourage her. Love on her with your words.
Praise her when she isn’t there. When you are with others, tell them good things about your wife, not bad. Talk good about her to others.
Pray for her. Pray for her to have strength in what she does, lift her up to God.
Pray with her. Going to God together creates unity and love.
Greet her with a Kiss. Yep, no matter what she is doing when you first see her, give her a kiss.
Give her a massage and don’t expect anything to come out of it. Just give her a massage to help her relax. Not expecting intimacy after this is more loving to her.
Hold her hand in public. It’s so sweet to show others you love your wife.
Open the door for her. Be her knight in shining armor.
Drive with her to do errands, just to be with her. Remember when you were dating and you did things together to just be with each other.
Start watching a tv program together. Don’t watch ahead of each other, have it be a special time for just you two, and something you can discuss together.
Cuddle with her in bed.
Remind her she is beautiful.
Tell her why you’re still happy to be married to her.
Fill up her gas tank. This is really simple, but it’s something that makes her life easier and tells her that you thought of her when you weren’t with her.
Take her to dinner. Take her on a date. Open the door for her when you arrive. Pull the chair out for her to sit at the restaurant table.
Text her a sweet message, just because.
Schedule a time each day to talk with her.
Honor her by having her be the one you are talking to. When you open up to others more than your wife, you are forming more intimacy with them than your spouse. You only have one wife, and she should feel special. Make her feel special.
Be kind to her family. Don’t like her mother or her crazy brother? Doesn’t matter. Put your ego aside and treat them with respect.
Ask her “ What can I help you with today? “
Encourage her to have friends that support your marriage. Give her opportunities to meet with friends. This may mean being willing to make dinner and stay with your children so she can go to bible study group, or coffee with a friend.
Listen to her. When she speaks to you about something passionately, listen. Restate to her what she said so she knows you heard her.
Talk good on her to others in front of her. Let her hear you say something good about her.
Sit next to her on the couch. Put your hand on her knee when in the car.
Have good boundaries. Don’t go to lunch with the opposite sex, don’t text other women, keep certain things special for your wife. I bet she will do the same for you and you both will feel honored and respected.
Make an inside joke with her. Yep that’s right, something that only you two know that you can mention and only you two will know.
Look at her and smile. Simple, right. If she catches you looking at her and smiling, she will know you are thinking good things about her.
Be the first to say “ I’m sorry. “
Let her sleep in. Take care of the kids so she can get some sleep.
Do something unexpected for her.
Don’t ever look at pornography. Porn ruins marriage, period.
Make something for her. It doesn’t matter what it is, food, a card, or a picnic.
Don’t make fun of her. Make sure if you are ever sarcastic with her that she is receiving it ok. Sarcasm is often very hurtful and not fun. Instead, cheer her on.
Ask her “ Is there anything I can do to help? “ Just asking this shows you care. She may say there’s nothing to do, but you just filled up her emotional love bank.
Write her a love letter. Email it to her.
Tell you kids what you love about her. Maybe let her hear you do this.
Tell her what you appreciate in her.
Ask her opinion on something important.
Don’t make big purchases without her. Decide on a dollar amount that you both will not spend without talking with each other. You will both feel that your spouse's opinion matters.
Don’t undermine each other in front of the kids or others. Even if you don’t agree with how she just discipline your child, don’t correct her in front of the kids. Always be a united front. Talk with her in private.
Choose how you want to make her feel, before you speak. Once you say words, it's hard to take them back.
Love her. How does she feel most loved? Is it quality time, acts of service, physical touch, respect, words of affirmation, or receiving gifts? Make an effort to give to her love. A wife who feels loved, respects and honors her husband.
Put the kids to bed, and enjoy it. Do something for her that she usually does. This may give you a new perspective on how it is to be her. Maybe she’ll do the same for you. This grows appreciation for each other.
Buy her flowers, just because.
Plan a getaway for just you two.
Schedule a date night at least 1x a month.
Hold her like it may be the last time. Treasure each moment with the one you chose to be your wife.
Wives, what did I leave out? Comment below on anything that you think I should’ve included. Start a conversation about this. Talk about what helps you feel appreciated. Telling your husband how to meet a need, will help him be there for you and ultimately help you feel loved.
Husbands, tell your wife what matters to you, so she can be there for you as well.
Have fun with it ! Any time, effort and care you put into loving your wife will strengthen your marriage and come back to you !
Natalie Teeters, MS, psychotherapist
First written on http://marriagemore.com/howtoshowyourwifeyouloveher.